I need your help
by lKL09
Summary: I'm searching for a story. Please help. Full details inside.


**Hi! Thanks for clicking on this, because that means you want to help. Well, here's my problem: I recently stumbled upon two years excerpts from a story here on fanfiction that I read a long time ago. But (you probably saw this coming) I can't remember the name... I tried finding it by going through my story alerts and favorites, but nothing. So maybe you've heard of it and can give me the name?**

 **If I remember correctly, the story is about various Fairy Tail characters in a modern setting. Each character (including many minor characters) got about one or two chapters written about them, some of which were intertwined and some of which weren't. Anyway, I've included the two excerpts so maybe some of you will recognize them (I hope so, because even I realize that my description of the story is pretty vague...)**

 **If by some extreme struck of luck the author of the story is reading this: please let me read your story one more time, even if you've already removed it from the site. Because I consider it one of the best ones out there.**

 **Even if the chances of me actually finding this story are incredibly slim (I know that), thanks for trying.**

 **Note: the two excerpts are probably from the same chapter, which is about Loke and his relationship with Lucy. They do not, however, overlap, so I put a line in there to indicate the gap between the two pieces.**

* * *

 _Yet there in that moment was a girl, who told him that it was okay to be broken. It's alright to come back not brand new but simply patched up well, cracks visible._

.

What people always thought whenever he says that Lucy saved his life was that time when... well, she saved him from falling off a bridge. So... yeah. It happened a week or two after that conversation in the cafe. Bridge. Loke almost falling off. Lucy in some odd twist of fate was there and pulled him back and DAMN she actually cried and told him to "please hold on we're here for you don't do this we all love you please come back" and he just hugged her back and maybe cried a bit (read: A LOT) and told her that it's fine, okay, he'll stay, such a pretty face shouldn't be crying.

He didn't have the heart to tell her that he was just simply standing there with nto kill himself when his beloved sunglasses fell off and he lunged after it, practically forgetting where he was and what would happen to him ('Well, he added, 'it's not like I forgot myself because I was so distracted thinking of a certain blond girl and her smile and eyes and laugh and those cute little heart earrings, no I wasn't.') - it's all very stupid, really... but still, thank God for Lucy.

So yes, it was indeed very true that Lucy saved his life.

But what no one knew was that whenever he said "I was thinking of ending it all, but she brought me back and gave me a reason to go on." he wasn't talking about the bridge incident. Not really. He was actually thinking back to that one peaceful afternoon spent in that little corner table at the Strauss'.

So he'll just let them think that he fell for the girl who cried with him on that bridge, but he knew for himself that first, he fell for the girl who sat across him in that table, whose smile assured him that he can come back... maybe not brand new, but as whole as he can manage.

.

How did he land the bodyguard job? Well, after that bridge incident, he insisted to escort Lucy home. The blond broke a shoe running to him, apparently.

* * *

He fell for Lucy on his own will, and he doesn't question that (because why not? she's wonderful) nor did he regret anything (maybe her not knowing would make things easier, but when she understood him, he realized that she was really worth the risk, even worth the 'no'). It broke his heart (did you think it didn't?) knowing she didn't feel the same, but he already loved her enough that he accepted her rejection, so how hard would it be, standing beside her as a friend?

Answer: it _kills_ , but it doesn't hurt as much as turning his back fully just because he felt hurt. He chose to live with it because why disappear bitter from a person's life when you can stay, still loved, recognized and understood? People would call him either selfish or martyr, but what was wrong with loving yourself a bit while standing up for something you believe in?

Lucy never quite understood him, not fully - because when he told her his feelings, she hasn't fallen for anyone yet... at least not as deeply. She simply didn't know how it was, how those thinks felt like. She was confused, and it didn't help that she was an impressionable young woman, he was an attractive charming man and she couldn't help but have this very certain crush on him. So it scared her a bit, because she knew her feelings were only so shallow but she didn't expect him to already be in too deep.

But when he told her that she didn't have to return it, that he held himself fully accountable, she wanted - _really wanted_ \- to love him back right then and there.

The fact that she knew she wanted it told her that no, it wouldn't be real. It would be something like pity. That was being in love with love - Lucy realized that it was possible, being in love with someone's feelings - but that was it. It was simply loving how you are loved, and it was so easy. "I love him because he loves me" was so easy, and true... even beautiful. But she knew that it can be binding. Sometimes a simple "I love him." can be everything. Just three words, _no conditions_ , her own terms.

And if she had said 'yes' to him back then, and he asked 'why', her answer will not have been that.

Maybe that's why you say "no, thank you".


End file.
